He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
