I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
