This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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