I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
