arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize