there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
