But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
