You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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