Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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