is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
