another moral hangover. fuck.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize