Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
