so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
vagina is talking i cant
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize