wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
