im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
false alarm, still single
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
