Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
