apparently the secret to your success is patron
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I deserve this hangover.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
