This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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