i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
