honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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