I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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