he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
PANTIES FOUND
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