I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
