Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
