I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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