perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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