sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize