My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
