But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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