remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
