why didn't you poke me back
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
