So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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