You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
