he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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