You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
