Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
