he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
