1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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