Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
