She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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