I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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