He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
