Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
