i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
