Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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