I'm lost and stupid without you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I could fuck to npr.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
