thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
