They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize