Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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