hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
