i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
