Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
