Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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