I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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