he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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