3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
