return my video game
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize