that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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