I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
