I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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